In Her Words: The 'Daughter Defense'

Invoking daughters and wives to deflect criticism is a particular kind of political trope.

View in browser|nytimes.com Continue reading the main story July 25, 2020 Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on the House floor on Thursday.House Television, via Associated Press By Jessica Bennett “Having a daughter does not make a man decent.” — Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, responding to a vulgar insult lodged at her by Representative Ted Yoho Continue reading the main story ADVERTISEMENT Brett Kavanaugh invoked it. Mitch McConnell used it too. Matt Damon and Ben Affleck have each talked about it, and this week, Representative Ted Yoho joined their ranks: He, too, is now a member of the having-a-daughter-makes-me-an-ally-to-women — or, at the very least, should-excuse-my-bad-behavior — club. “Having been married for 45 years with two daughters, I’m very cognizant of language,” Mr. Yoho, of Florida, said in a speech on the House floor this week, denying that he had used a sexist vulgarity in reference to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the freshman congresswoman from New York, after a confrontation on the steps of the Capitol. Mr. Yoho later expressed regret for the “abrupt manner of the conversation,” in which he told Ms. Ocasio-Cortez that her statements about poverty and crime in New York City were “disgusting.” But, he noted, “I cannot apologize for my passion or for loving my God, my family and my country.” On Thursday, in a speech on the House floor that has since gone viral, Ms. Ocasio-Cortez said, “I am someone’s daughter, too.” She said she had planned to ignore the insults but changed her mind after Mr. Yoho decided to bring his wife and daughters into the picture. Continue reading the main story ADVERTISEMENT Our culture is full of platitudes about fathers and daughters: the Hallmark card, the weeping dad at the wedding. But invoking daughters and wives to deflect criticism is a particular kind of political trope — and one that has been used throughout history to “excuse a host of bad behavior,” said Barbara Berg, a historian and the author of “Sexism in America.” The love a man has for the female members of his family, particularly his offspring, is presumed to have special power — to humanize the other half of the population, to allow him to imagine the world his daughter will inhabit. Sometimes, in fact, this does happen. Other times, the Daughter Excuse comes across mostly as cynical ploy. “As if familial affiliation alone equals enlightened attitudes towards women,” said Susan Douglas, a professor of communication and media at the University of Michigan. “It’s like claiming ‘I have a Black friend‚’ as if that makes you anti-racist.” There is, however, social science that has shown there is something to being the father of a daughter. In a study titled “The First-Daughter Effect,” Elizabeth Sharrow, an associate professor of public policy and history at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and her colleagues, determined that fathering daughters — and firstborn daughters, in particular — indeed played a role in making men’s attitudes toward gender equality more progressive, especially when considering policies like equal pay or sexual harassment protocols. “Our argument is not that it is genetics or biology, but that it is proximity,” Dr. Sharrow said. In other words: The daughters help the fathers see problems they may have previously dismissed. Witness the basketball star Stephen Curry, who has written about how since having a daughter, “the idea of women’s equality has become a little more personal for me, lately, and a little more real.” Family members of of U.S. Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, including his wife Ashley, right, and mother Martha, left, listen to his testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee during his Supreme Court confirmation hearing on Capitol Hill in September 2018 in Washington.Pool photo by Jim Bourg Or Dick Cheney, whose views on same-sex marriage shifted earlier than many observers might have expected because of his daughter, who is gay. And yet. Daughters influencing fathers’ views for the better is far different from fathers using their daughters as “shields and excuses for poor behavior,” as Ms. Ocasio-Cortez described it. It’s also different from fathers using them as “props,” as Dr. Berg puts it, to emphasize their alignment with women’s causes — or, by contrast, their disgust over behaviors perceived to be in opposition to them. Consider Justice Kavanaugh during his testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee about allegations of sexual assault by Christine Blasey Ford. The justice spoke repeatedly of his daughters — as well as his wife and mother — and noted that coaching his daughter’s basketball team was what he loved “more than anything I’ve ever done in my whole life.” “Men have often pointed to their relationships with and love for some women — especially wives and daughters — to combat claims that they have mistreated other women,” said Kelly Dittmar, a scholar at the Center for American Women and Politics at Rutgers University. In the wake of the 2016 news reports on vulgar comments made by Donald Trump on the now-infamous “Access Hollywood” tape, a host of fathers-of-daughters came out to condemn the behavior. Senator McConnell noted that “as the father of three daughters,” he believed that Mr. Trump “needs to apologize directly to women and girls everywhere,” while Mitt Romney, the senator from Utah, said that the comments “demean our wives and daughters.” Similarly, in response to revelations of sexual misconduct by Harvey Weinstein, both Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, who had worked with the disgraced Hollywood producer, expressed their disgust on behalf of their female offspring. We “need to do better at protecting our friends, sisters, co-workers and daughters,” Mr. Affleck said on Twitter, while Mr. Damon explained that “as the father of four daughters, this is the kind of sexual predation that keeps me up at night.” Women, too, have at times invoked men’s daughters — and other female relatives — in trying to appeal to some men. When asked about Mr. Yoho’s behavior, Speaker Nancy Pelosi said: “What’s so funny is, you’d say to them, ‘Do you not have a daughter? Do you not have a mother? Do you not have a sister? Do you not have a wife? What makes you think that you can be so’ — and this is the word I use for them — ‘condescending, in addition to being disrespectful?’” The caveat, of course, is the qualification. According to Dr. Dittmar, “Qualifying your outrage against misogyny as due to your role as a father or husband implies that, absent those roles, you would be either unaware of it or unconcerned.” Or as Ms. Ocasio-Cortez put it: “Having a daughter does not make a man decent. Having a wife does not make a decent man. Treating people with dignity and respect makes a decent man.” Why should daughters still have to be a prerequisite for respect? What else is happening Here are four articles from The Times you may have missed. The Wall of Moms outside of the U.S. District Court in Portland on Thursday night.Mason Trinca for The New York Times “I wanted us to look like moms.” The “Wall of Moms” in Portland, Ore., has taken up the cause against police violence. [Read the story] “There was just a calming sense of being back on the floor.” The W.N.B.A. is ready for the new season. [Read the story] “We should all think about how pods might further the gap between our students.” Learning pods, micro-schools and tutors: Can parents solve the education crisis on their own? [Read the story] “There weren’t many of us.” Along with feminist lawyers like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Nadine Taub made legal history in cases that argued that the Constitution protected women’s rights. [Read the obituary] In Her Words is edited by Francesca Donner. Our art director is Catherine Gilmore-Barnes, and our photo editor is Sandra Stevenson. Did someone forward you this email? Sign up here to get future installments. You can also follow us on Instagram or email us at inherwords@nytimes.com. Continue reading the main story Need help? Review our newsletter help page or contact us for assistance. You received this email because you signed up for In Her Words from The New York Times. To stop receiving these emails, unsubscribe or manage your email preferences. 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President Trump Bows to Reality: This Week in the 2020 Race

Mr. Trump tried to convey a measure of seriousness about the coronavirus pandemic, backtracking on

View in browser|nytimes.com Continue reading the main story July 25, 2020 Welcome to our weekly analysis of the state of the 2020 campaign. The week in numbers • Fox News released polls from Michigan, Pennsylvania and Minnesota showing President Trump trailing Joe Biden by anywhere from 9 to 13 percentage points. Continue reading the main story ADVERTISEMENT • A Quinnipiac University poll of Florida registered voters found Biden leading Trump by 13 points. • They were neck-and-neck in a Quinnipiac poll of Texas registered voters. • Trump’s approval rating dropped to 39 percent nationwide in an ABC News/Washington Post survey, his lowest point in that poll this year. •  Most Americans worry that sending children back to school could be dangerous, a range of polls showed. In an Associated Press/NORC poll, 80 percent of respondents said they were at least somewhat concerned. • Trump spent $9.5 million on television ads while Biden spent $7.5 million. • On Facebook, Trump is outspending Biden, $2.2 million to $530,000. Catch me up This was the week when President Trump started looking like he was facing reality about America’s coronavirus pandemic. On Monday he tweeted a picture of himself wearing a face mask — something he had long resisted — and encouraged the country to join. At a Tuesday news conference, he said the virus would likely “get worse before it gets better,” instead of acting like the worst was in the rearview mirror. His news briefings were shorter and less antagonistic than those in the spring. He spoke of setting a good example for the country. But Mr. Trump’s attempt at a Covid Reset for his presidency — in the face of soaring cases, as well as his falling poll numbers — raises two important questions: How long will it last? Will many people believe it? The president usually reverts to combative form after a seeming change in tone, a pattern of behavior that helped make him famous — and now endangers his re-election. His response to the pandemic has been widely panned by Americans in public polling and public health experts, who say these actions should have come in March or April, not July. About 145,000 Americans have already died. Continue reading the main story ADVERTISEMENT Trump cannot wish away coronavirus President Donald Trump addresses coronavirus rates at a news conference in the Briefing Room of the White House on Thursday.Doug Mills/The New York Times After months of bluster, the president has seemingly come to understand what many have known for months: he cannot wish away the coronavirus. The refusal to acknowledge the reality of rising cases and deaths has hurt Mr. Trump’s poll numbers and hampered the country from a coordinated response. It has alienated him from key groups of swing voters, including seniors and ideological moderates. In several interviews and news conferences this week, Mr. Trump tried to change course. Here’s how: Teed up with an opportunity to criticize Dr. Anthony Fauci from Fox News host Sean Hannity, Mr. Trump ignored it. On Thursday, Mr. Trump said schools should delay reopening in coronavirus hot spots — a reversal of his previous position that all schools should open in the fall. That afternoon, the president canceled the Republican National Convention in Florida, citing the threat posed by the virus. Some Republican leaders had already said they would not attend. Continue reading the main story ADVERTISEMENT Obama and Biden, together again The relationship between President Barack Obama and his vice president, Mr. Biden, was so publicly affectionate that it was its own meme genre. The relationship helped Mr. Biden secure the Democratic nomination, and on Thursday, Mr. Obama returned to the virtual campaign trail, releasing a sleek video conversation with Mr. Biden filmed in the 44th president’s D.C. office. The discussion focused on Mr. Trump’s response to the coronavirus, and contrasted how a potential Biden administration would deal with unforeseen crises. But more than any individual policy, Mr. Obama sought to brand Mr. Biden as compassionate and decent, the type of person who stands out against Mr. Trump’s combativeness. “The thing I’ve got confidence in, Joe, is your heart and your character, and the fact that you are going to be able to reassemble the kind of government that cares about people and brings people together.” Some other highlights from the video release, which totaled 15 minutes: Mr. Obama called the Affordable Care Act a “starter house,” saying it’s time for Democrats to expand coverage. Both men encouraged those who have been leading protests against racial inequality and police brutality. Mr. Obama’s administration was, at times, criticized by activists for not embracing systemic police reform. Mr. Obama said Mr. Biden would be an ally to bigger change. Goodbye, Jacksonville The Republican National Convention from the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland in 2016.Chang W. Lee/The New York Times The whole idea behind moving the convention from its original location in Charlotte, N.C., to Jacksonville was to make it easier to give Mr. Trump the spectacle he wanted: televised images of packed crowds cheering him into the final sprint of his re-election campaign, a dangerous reality that Republicans thought would not be possible under strict social distancing rules that Democratic governor of North Carolina, Roy Cooper, was requiring. But bringing together a large crowd during a surging pandemic proved to be much more difficult than simply finding a new location with a supportive Republican governor and mayor. And on Thursday, Mr. Trump broke the news himself that he was pulling the plug on his second attempt at a large-scale celebratory convention. “It’s not the right time for that,” Mr. Trump said, nodding to the growing cases in Florida and the problems with security that local law enforcement officials had expressed. The end was welcomed by Republican officials who had been tasked with putting it together. Some talked of celebrating the president’s decision by cracking open expensive bottles of wine on Thursday night. How did we get here? Republicans said raising money had been difficult, and making last-minute adjustments — like sending attendees in-home Covid-19 test kits, had been complicated. They also assumed that Mr. Trump would ultimately be blamed for a coronavirus death tied to the convention. The Jacksonville City Council president opposed a bill that would have given the mayor, Lenny Curry, the power to spend $33 million in federal security funds however he deems necessary. The sheriff of Jacksonville, meanwhile, said of convention security on Monday: “We can’t pull it off.” The Republican National Committees response? “Jacksonville has accommodated upwards of 70,000 people for football games and other events, and we are confident in state, local and federal officials to be able to ensure a safe event for our attendees,” Mandi Merritt, an R.N.C. spokeswoman, said. Florida continued to see a rise in coronavirus cases and deaths overall this week, and Jacksonville is no exception. Over one-fifth of Jacksonville’s coronavirus deaths were reported in last seven days, according to local news sources. What you might have missed Voting during the Georgia primary at Coan Park Recreation Center in Atlanta.Audra Melton for The New York Times Georgia had a 68 percent increase in voter turnout in this year’s primary from 2016, and a 20 percent increase over 2008 after sending absentee ballots to every registered voter. The Republican National Committee and Mr. Trump have spent nearly $4 million on Trump-owned properties since the beginning of 2019. The Trump campaign has spent roughly $20 million over the past 20 days on TV ads that focus solely on the issue of the police. Mr. Biden wants to beef up tax enforcement on the wealthy as part of his $775 billion plan to help working parents and caregivers. Isabella Grullón Paz and Giovanni Russonello contributed reporting. Continue reading the main story Need help? Review our newsletter help page or contact us for assistance. You received this email because you signed up for On Politics with Lisa Lerer from The New York Times. To stop receiving these emails, unsubscribe or manage your email preferences. Subscribe to The TimesGet The New York Times app Connect with us on: Change Your EmailPrivacy PolicyContact UsCalifornia Notices The New York Times Company. 620 Eighth Avenue New York, NY 10018