Day 184 - Be Honest with Your Grieving Children

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Be Honest with Your Grieving Children Day 184 You may wonder how much to say to your children about the loss of their sibling, parent, relative, or friend. Of course, you have to gauge it to their ages and attention spans, but with this in mind, we encourage you to be honest and open with your children. "As parents you want to protect them; you want to make it right for them, and yet you don't know that what you're doing is actually not hurting them," says Dora. "When we first got back from the hospital after their sister died, we were at a loss for words, and we probably did all the wrong things. They wanted to know how she died, and my husband said, 'Well, she fell asleep; it's just like falling asleep, only she just didn't wake up. It was very comfortable.' Neither one of my girls could sleep after that for months because they were afraid they were going to die. Their comprehension is so limited at that age." God understands that you do not know what to say. He will enable you. Be truthful, yet compassionate with your children, and pray continually for His guidance. Encourage the children to ask you questions, and keep the lines of communication open at all times. Also, seek help from experienced parents or a counselor for advice on how to explain such things to children. "Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God" (2 Corinthians 3:5). Holy God, open my mouth to honestly talk and share with my children. Help me to be available and approachable to them. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 183 - Parents Must Model Healthy Grief

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Parents Must Model Healthy Grief Day 183 Children need their parents to model healthy behaviors. They need to see their parents dealing with grief in a healthy way so that they can learn to do the same. "I was real open with my grief at first," says Jodie of her husband's death. "I think that is why the boys were comfortable bringing up their dad and saying, 'I really miss Dad.' We could talk about it, and that was good because my oldest is not real expressive about his emotions. That made it easier for me to pull his emotions out too." Jodie's sons followed her lead in coping with grief. You may desire to model healthy grief, but are not sure how to do so. Take heart; you are better equipped than you think. These daily devotions are a guide for your journey, not only your journey of grief, but also your journey of knowledge and wisdom. You are learning from others who have traveled before you and are seeking truth and healing in God's Word. Teach your children the source of true healing and make it your priority. Lead them to Jesus. "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these'" (Matthew 19:14). Heavenly Jesus, I want to learn more and more about You so that I can teach my children the certainty and assurance found in a life with You. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 182 - Children in Grief May Act Out Their Hurt

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Children in Grief May Act Out Their Hurt Day 182 Your children may surprise you by the misbehavior they display while grieving. But you need to remember the source of their misbehavior: They feel hurt and do not know what to do with that feeling. Shelly, whose son passed away, talks about the response of her other son: "He was the passive child between two demanding children. He often didn't express himself and held everything inside. So it was so out of character for him to rise up with anger and to put holes in the walls and to be so frustrated in the way that he was. "After seeking God, what I felt in my heart was that it was his survival he was going through. He was dealing with pain so deep, and he was too young to understand that death is a permanent thing. It's something you can't change; you can't go back; there's no way to rectify what has happened. You just have to accept it. That was so hard for him to deal with. It's almost like he came out fighting. "And when we were able to accept that this was a part of the process that he had to go through and just cover it in love, we removed some of the stressors in his life, and we allowed him that time." You still have to be the parent, and your children need you to continue to communicate clear boundaries to them. But choose the issues that you want to address. Over everything else give them oceans of love and grace. "As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him" (Psalm 103:13). Lord, show me how to be there for my child. Show me how to remove the stressors in his or her life, and open the flow of love and understanding between us. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 181 - Children in Grief Need Unconditional Love

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Children in Grief Need Unconditional Love Day 181 Children need special attention when they grieve because they are not equipped with the emotional maturity of adults. Their world has fallen apart, and what they need most of all is the assurance of your unconditional love. "There wasn't anybody to help me when my dad died," says Barbara Johnson. "I had a mother and a sister, but everyone was so busy. I went through my teenage years by myself without a whole lot of help. I did pay a price for that because emotionally I needed some help, and I needed comforting. "For other parents who have lost a child: Remember, the other siblings are hurting too. Reach out to these kids and unconditionally love them—just love these kids right where they are and let them know that love is the healing factor and that they're not to blame. Sometimes children have a tendency to blame themselves if there's an accident or a tragedy. But I think we have to put the blame aside and just show a lot of love and a lot of understanding." Do not put this off. Go to your other children right now and tell them how much you love them. Look them in the eyes; hold them in your arms, and just love. God loves you and calls you His child. Now pass that love on to your children. "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" (1 John 3:1). Forgive me, Father, for neglecting to comfort the hurt and pain that my other children are feeling. Comfort me as I comfort them. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 180 - Forgive Everyone Involved

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Forgive Everyone Involved Day 180 When someone close to you has taken his or her life, a natural tendency is to try and understand the reason for it and to place blame. Be cautious. Focusing on blame will only make you bitter. Bitterness will not resolve any issues, but will block your healing. Shelly lost her son through suicide. She says, "Yes, there are people we could blame. But the greater challenge to us as Christians was to rise up and say, 'We forgive. We're not going to hold them accountable in any way, shape, or form.' "We did whatever we had to do to align ourselves in a way that we could imagine the Lord Jesus Christ doing. When we were willing to do that, we released healing, and we released miracles." Turn your thoughts to the things of God—His words, His attributes, His creation, His promises—and not to blame. "But there is forgiveness with thee" (Psalm 130:4 kjv). Lord, forgive me and open my heart to forgive others who are involved in this situation. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 179 - Suicide: Cultural Taboo

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Suicide: Cultural Taboo Day 179 Suicide is considered taboo in today's society. Often people do not know what to say to you or how to respond to you if you have lost a loved one to suicide. As a result, people often avoid you instead of risking discomfort or awkwardness. This is uncomfortable for you as well, but you must get beyond those feelings and ask others for the help you need. One way to seek help is through a grief recovery support group. In this setting you can find people who will be concerned friends, who will not worry about the "right" words to say or the "best" way to respond to you. They will accept you, love you, and not have expectations of you. "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver" (Proverbs 25:11 nkjv). O God, help me to reach out and seek help from others who are grieving, too. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 178 - Others Do Not Know What to Say

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Others Do Not Know What to Say Day 178 "We were so deep in our grief that we didn't know how to ask for help," Shelly says of her son's suicide. "We didn't know how to communicate that. There were times I wished someone would have intruded upon our grief and said, 'Do you need someone to talk to? Do you need someone to share with?'" If you have lost someone to suicide, there are times when even those closest to you don't know what to say. They may even pull back. This isn't because they don't love you. It's because they simply are at a loss for words and don't know how to respond. Explain to them or show them that what you need is a friend. "[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:7, 8 nasb). Lord, when I don't know what to say and my friends don't know what to say, let us all just rest in Your love. Teach us to love one another. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755