Day 41 - Sharing Your Grief

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Sharing Your Grief Day 41 Which of these sentences best describes you? Your spouse? Siblings? Children? A. I like to open up and share deep-felt emotions as often as possible. B. I can think of a million things I'd rather do than bring up the pain again by talking about it. Every person has his or her own way of reacting to grief, and men and women often respond differently. "My husband still has a hard time just talking about it," says Dora, who lost her daughter. "I think his way of dealing with it is to dive into work, to avoid it, to not talk about it. Many times it causes problems between us because I want to talk about it. For me, it's like he's not validating my suffering by allowing me to share it with him. For him, it's as if I'm opening up his wounds by wanting him to share it with me." You cannot change another person to grieve in a way that pleases you, but you can give your concerns about that person to God and pray that he or she will someday open up and release those crippling emotions. "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective" (James 5:16). Lord God, it's so important that I share my emotions with others. Only You can soften a heart that is hardened. Once again, I give it to You. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 40 - Talk About It

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Talk About It Day 40 Death is a part of life. Everyone experiences the death of a loved one. "We are social beings, physical beings, and spiritual beings," says Rev. Clay Evans. "When you lose someone you are attached to, it is normal, it is natural, for you to grieve." If grief is natural and is part of everyone's life, why is there a feeling of discomfort when someone mentions the death of a loved one? Why the embarrassment when tears come during an ordinary conversation? People in grief may avoid their friends and even their church to prevent these awkward moments. This is not how it should be. Someone needs to move beyond the discomfort. Be the first one to squelch the prevailing attitude of embarrassment and unease, and start talking about grief. "Bear one another's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2 NASB). Lord Jesus, grieving is as natural and as common as loving. I want to help make it as acceptable, too. May my healing journey spark healing in those around me. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 39 - Society's Superficial Response to Grief

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Society’s Superficial Response to Grief Day 39 Society often concerns itself with keeping up appearances, maintaining the status quo, and covering up problems, as if pretense will somehow make things right! "We want everything to be glossed over," Rev. John Coulombe observes. "We want everything to be gilded with gold. We think it should be tidy and nice." But life is not "tidy and nice" and pretending it is will hinder your healing process and make it even longer. Remember that your view is not God's. Realizing this, draw close to Him and listen to His wisdom. His perspective on your grief is the one you need to seek. "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the LORD. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts'" (Isaiah 55:8-9). Holy God, teach me to grieve wisely, knowing that You truly understand my hurts and my needs and knowing that Your way for me is far better than society's expectations of me. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 38 - Uncomfortable Expressing Emotions?

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Uncomfortable Expressing Emotions? Day 38 Men tend to grieve alone and to express very little about what they are feeling. But keeping emotions bottled up inside slows the healing process. Dr. Norman Peart says, "Men are taught that they should not express their emotions because that is a sign of weakness. In reality, expressing emotions is a sign of health because it means you are working through those emotions. You have to be honest with yourself; you do hurt." God wants you to pour out your emotions to Him: "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge" (Psalm 62:8). He also directs you to share your emotions with others: "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn" (Romans 12:15). O God, I know that You want me to release my emotions to You and to others. Give me the opportunity and the courage to do that. Uncork my bottled emotions so my healing can continue. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 37 - Facing Your Emotions

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Facing Your Emotions Day 37 Men who seldom express emotions during normal times often find they do not have the tools needed to express their grief in times of bereavement. Their ideas of how a man should behave can hinder the healthy expression of their emotions. Dr. Larry Crabb says: "Men are real problems and I am one of them. In a way that is different from women, men demand to be able to manage things. A man will naturally not move into chaotic situations where he hasn't got a plan. "Emotions are probably the least controllable thing about our existence. So when a man begins to honestly face his emotions, his worst terror begins to be realized. He thinks to himself, If I face what's really happening in my soul, I won't have the resources to handle it; I won't come up with a formula or a game plan." In the Bible, Jacob found it very difficult to move on and to accept comfort. "Then Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and mourned for his son many days. All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. 'No,' he said, 'in mourning will I go down to the grave to my son.' So his father wept for him" (Genesis 37:34-35). Lord God, I understand that the power and strength to heal come from You and not my own ability. I give my life and my struggles to You. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 36 - Feeling the Need to Be in Control

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Feeling the Need to Be in Control Day 36 When life seems to be spinning out of control, you may grasp whatever reins you can find and hang on. Holding those reins gives you a sense of being in control, not only of your life but, more specifically, of your emotions. Emotions can be frightening because they are the least controllable aspect of your nature. Men in particular feel the need to be in control. "Most men are high on control," says Jim Grassi. "When tragedy strikes, it's a loss of control. You realize just how small you are in the scheme of things and that God is really the One in control. You must release that control and give it back to God and allow Him the full authority in your life." As long as you are fighting God for control, you will be the loser. Let it all go. Tell Him today that you are tired of fighting, that you want Him to have full authority in your life. "The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace" (Romans 8:6). Holy Spirit, I long for that life and peace. This fight to be strong has depleted the last of my so-called resources. Take my life and lead me on the journey of healing. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 35 - Men in Grief

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Men in Grief Day 35 As you go through life, you fight stereotypes and popular misconceptions. Several notions exist about how "real men" should act in different situations. Take a moment to identify your own ideas about how men should "handle" grief. When did you form this opinion? Who modeled this behavior for you? Who might be looking to you as a role model? Here are some comments from men who have experienced grief: "In our culture especially," says Rev. Noel Castellanos, "the whole macho thing is very prevalent. I think men are afraid to express their feelings. We haven't had too many people show us how to do that. I remember being very moved when I first became a believer as I saw strong Christian men who had the ability to cry and share their weakness and hurt." Virgil, whose wife died, observes, "Men, as little kids, are told not to cry and it carries through. To solve this problem, fathers should let their little boys cry. It doesn't hurt a thing. It's an emotion God gives us." "Christ was a man's man," says Jim Grassi. "Eight of the twelve disciples were fishermen. At times, the disciples wept and they felt grief. They had all the normal emotions that God intended people to have." David, a warrior and king, pours out his emotions to God throughout the Psalms: "I am bowed down and brought very low; all day long I go about mourning…. I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart…. For I am about to fall, and my pain is ever with me" (Psalm 38:6, 8, 17). Almighty God, let my prayer be like David's prayers. Teach me what manhood really is. Open my heart and mind to want this change. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755