Day 87 - Relief

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Relief Day 87 Relief is also a common emotion associated with grief, especially if your loved one was in pain or suffering. Janet Paschal's grandfather had Alzheimer's disease. She says, "We had watched him change, and it was a very slow loss, a very slow process. So there was a sense of relief when he died, but at the same time, there was a selfish part of me that wanted him back, that didn't want to surrender him." You may feel relief because the burden of responsibility has been lifted with the death of your loved one. Don't feel guilty about your relief. This response is natural and expected, particularly after a long struggle or illness. "We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord's dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful" (James 5:11 NASB). Lord God, my feelings confuse and somewhat embarrass me. Thank you for granting me endurance, and please continue to guide me on my journey through grief. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 86 - If Only I Had . . .

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here If Only I Had … Day 86 "In God's economy you can't go back and say, 'I should have done this,' 'I should have done that,' or 'I didn't do this right,'" says Barbara Johnson, "because you did the best you could at the time that you did it. God knows your heart, and you can't live in a state of regret or wishing you had done something different. There has to be closure to that." Many times you may beat yourself up thinking about the things you did wrong in regard to your loved one, or you are plagued with thoughts about what you could have done differently. John's son committed suicide. He says, "Afterwards, I remembered every time that I had mistreated him or punished him unjustly. I recalled every time I had yelled at him out of frustration and anger—everything I had done wrong as a parent to him. It's like I was on the witness stand and there was a prosecutor who said, 'You did this and you did that.'" John realized that his thoughts of blame, regret, and self-condemnation were harmful and they needed to stop. He knew that good, uplifting, and strengthening thoughts are from God and he needed to focus on them. He says, "God in his grace also reminded me of when I would come home and eat lunch with my son and we would have little talks. The little things we did were good. We did have some really good times." Remember the good times, and counter your "if onlys" with Scripture. God's Word is powerful and will help you conquer the negative thoughts that play in your head. Choose a Bible verse to repeat throughout the day, replacing harmful thoughts with God's healing words. "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness" (Ephesians 4:22-24). Lord God, teach me to put off my old habits of self-condemnation and bitter regret and replace them with a new attitude of prayer and Christlikeness. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 85 - Regret

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Regret Day 85 Regret is a strong emotion you will likely encounter during grief. Perhaps you have regrets over things you wish you had said or done while your loved one was still alive. A frequent thought might be, If only I had … You are not alone, my friend. Annie, who lost her father, says, "I laid awake at night thinking, O Lord, I wish I had taken him to Duke Hospital. Why didn't I think about it? I just kept punishing myself. But one of my friends said, 'You did all you knew to do.' Which is true." Do not condemn yourself. Look to Christ Jesus for help in facing these regrets. "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death" (Romans 8:1-2 NASB). Lord Jesus, set me free from my regrets. Thank you for not condemning me. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 84 - Freedom from Bitterness

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Freedom from Bitterness Day 84 There is hope. You can be free from bitter thoughts. "I'd shut my eyes and see gravestones and all sorts of things. I was walking in places in my mind that I wasn't supposed to be walking in," says Cindy, whose daughter died. Matthew 6:34 tells you to live one day at a time: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." Cindy continues, "Even now, when I look at the past and get really sad, I think, You know what? Today's a good day. It's raining, but my baby is in bed asleep, and my five-year-old is at school, and today is a good day. "Then when I look at the future and start thinking about things that could possibly go wrong, I think, You know what? I'm not gonna go there, 'cause God isn't walking with me there. He's told me to stay in today." Tackle one bitter thought at a time. When bitter thoughts come into your mind, repeat Cindy's words, "I'm not gonna go there, 'cause God isn't walking with me there." Lord Jesus, with You I can live one moment at a time and work my way toward freedom from my bitter thoughts. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 83 - Bitterness Leads to Depression

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Bitterness Leads to Depression Day 83 "Bitterness is a terrible temptation to harbor your own troubles and problems and chew on them and indulge in self-pity," says Elisabeth Elliot. What troublesome thoughts are you harboring and chewing on again and again? "Bitterness very often leads to depression," continues Elliot. "I am convinced that a great deal of depression is the fruit of bitterness, which is unresolved sin or anger or pain." Bitterness hurts only you. You are allowing those thoughts to take you off the path of healing. But you can control your thoughts. Whenever bitterness tries to seep in, renounce it in the name of Christ and see it as your enemy. The Bible discusses handling this spiritual battle within the mind: "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:3-5). Lord, I'm fighting a losing battle on my own, but with You I have the power to win. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 82 - Bitterness Leads to Resentment

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Bitterness Leads to Resentment Day 82 Other families around you are still together—happy and oblivious to your brokenness and pain. Why me and not you? you might be wondering. Your wondering can turn into bitterness and resentment. Dr. Robert Jeffress says, "There can almost be a resentment on the part of Christians against other Christians who may not be going through grief. 'Why aren't they experiencing what I'm experiencing? Why is God picking on me?'" Many problems can arise from the improper handling of your emotions during grief. You can't avoid having the emotions, but how you respond to them will determine whether you proceed in a healthy manner or are doomed to unnecessary detours on your grief journey. Ultimately, unless you deal with the issues behind your emotions, your life may be moved toward bitterness and resentment. "I loathe my own life: I will give full vent to my complaint; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul," Job complained at first. But then he changed his focus and persevered in faith and trust: "I know that Thou canst do all things, and that no purpose of Thine can be thwarted…. Therefore I retract, and I repent in dust and ashes" (Job 10:1, 42:2, 6 NASB). Turn to God, who knows the bitterness in your heart and wants to replace it with His loving comfort. Lord of all, forgive my bitterness and resentment and fill me instead with the love, peace, and trust that only You can provide. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 81 - Blame

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Blame Day 81 Humans seem to have a natural tendency to want to place blame, as if that would help resolve the feelings of distress and pain. But blame is a black hole that will suck you down further and further. "As a pastor, I've seen people respond to grief in every way," says Dr. Jack Hayford. "I think of the beauty of recent events in my own congregation. There was a young couple who were instantly separated by the intervention of death while they were at a national park. He fell into a rushing river and was trapped beneath a log where he could not get out. There was no way to attempt rescue because of the force of the stream. His wife was standing right there, not ten feet away, watching him drown, seeing it happen. "To watch that family move into an openness to the comfort of the Spirit of God, to not blame God, to recognize an accident for what it is, to believe that God didn't design it, but He did foresee it and that His comfort and presence would be with them is a tremendously thrilling thing to witness." Jesus urges you not to be troubled by blame, but to move forward in the peace and comfort of the Holy Spirit of God. "But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14:26-27). Holy God, this blame isn't accomplishing anything but added pain for me. Send me Your comforting Spirit to guide my thoughts into a clear perspective. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755