Day 69 - Anger: Directed at the Person You Lost

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Anger: Directed at the Person You Lost Day 69 "People who lose someone can be really angry. They may be thinking, How dare you die and leave me! How dare you reject me! How dare you leave me in these circumstances!" observes Dr. Robert Abarno. You may be directing your anger at the person you lost. Why? Because he or she left you, because of what you wish your relationship had been, because of all the unfinished, unorganized business that you ended up with. This anger is a natural reaction that you should not feel guilty about. Your anger may stem from feelings of abandonment. But remember, you are not alone. God promises in His Word that He will never abandon you. His presence is eternal; His faithfulness to you is sure. "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged" (Deuteronomy 31:8). Lord Jesus, I trust that You will never leave me and never give up on me. Amen Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 68 - Anger: Directed at People or Situations Surrounding Your Loss

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Anger: Directed at People or Situations Surrounding Your Loss Day 68 Anger does not necessarily follow a logical path. Different people will focus their anger in different directions. For instance, you might be angry with people or at circumstances surrounding your loss. "I remember being angry at first toward my sister-in-law because she was the one who told me [about the car crash]," says Jodie, whose husband was killed. "That made me mad. I had to really ask the Lord to heal that anger. He's faithful." Heidi shares, "In the situation surrounding my husband's death, there were a lot of people involved in making the decision for him to leave that night. There are times when [I] want to get angry about the way things were done." Do you need healing from misdirected anger? "O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me" (Psalm 30:2). "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). Father God, I am angry, and that's okay, but turn my anger away from false, destructive paths. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 67 - Anger: Where Does It Come From?

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Anger: Where Does It Come From? Day 67 You are probably doing your best to get back in control of your life. But life cannot be controlled, and anger and frustration often come as a result. Dr. Larry Crabb states: "If I say, 'I know what I need to live, and it's not God,' I have a very wrong definition of life. Jesus, of course, had it right. He said, 'This is life: There can be no God but Jesus Christ.' "But when I hear that, something in me says, Oh, no. No, no, that's not life. Life is having the doctor say I'm healthy. Life is having my wife say 'I love you' as opposed to 'I'm leaving you.' When I misdefine life and make it something else, then God becomes my enemy. He's not cooperative. And I get furious." And when God is not "cooperating," you may attempt to handle the grieving process on your own, and fail. "There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death" (Proverbs 16:25 NASB). Lord, I get so angry when I feel out of control. I just want to get a grip on things again. Teach me that by giving You control of my life, I will be empowered. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 66 - Anger: Your Strongest Emotion

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Anger: Your Strongest Emotion Day 66 "BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger" (Ephesians 4:26 NASB). The Bible instructs you to be angry! Anger by itself is not a sin, and it is one of the most common emotions associated with grief. "I went through that shock and denial period for about three months," says Dora after the death of her daughter. "Then suddenly, as the shock wore off and the reality set in—anger. Intense anger. Just wanting to wail, to scream from the depths. There's no way I could express as much anger as I was feeling." You need to release your anger in a way that is productive for healing and not harmful to others around you. To release your anger does not mean to lash out, to throw a fit, or to lose control of it; releasing your anger involves the open and honest expression of your emotions in a way that is physically, mentally, and emotionally freeing. You can do this by expressing your anger to God in prayer (don't hold back!). You can release your anger in the presence of a person who will listen quietly and neither judge nor offer advice. Another healthy way to release anger is to write down every angry thought that comes to mind until you cannot think of another angry sentence to write. Some people find that expressing their anger out loud, and loudly, in a private place is helpful. The fact that you should "not let the sun go down on your anger" means you should deal with it when it is present. Don't go to sleep and forget it, only to have it come back in greater strength later. Holy Spirit, grant me the freedom and opportunity to release my anger in a way that helps, not hurts. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 65 - Rage!

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Rage! Day 65 Rage. Have you felt it? Screaming, wailing, intense, and coming up out of nowhere. It is defined in Webster's Dictionary as "violent and uncontrolled anger; a fit of violent wrath." If you can relate to the above descriptions, you are experiencing an emotion common to the grieving process. "I think the rage I had inside caused my high blood pressure, and I didn't know how to express my anger," says Annie after her father died. Your anger does need to be expressed, but it must be done slowly and not impulsively. Impulsive anger deals with "personal rights" and "my plan," the kind of anger that shows you are still trying to remain in control. As God is "slow to anger," so are you encouraged to have this attribute. "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty. And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city" (Proverbs 16:32 NASB). Impulsive anger can hurt others and cause new problems for you. But the dynamic of being "slow to anger" allows you to express your anger, to see the cause of it, and to deal with it. Lord, give my rage a slow fuse and keep it from becoming a hungry, devouring flame. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 64 - An Excessive Need to Tell Your Story

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here An Excessive Need to Tell Your Story Day 64 You may be a person who feels the need to express your story to anyone and everyone who will listen. You have felt the healing salve that comes from sharing with others, and you may think that telling your story repeatedly will result in greater healing. Sharing your experience with others is a crucial step on your healing journey, but use wisdom in discerning if your timing is appropriate. Luevenia experienced the death of her husband. She says, "When I talked about my husband's death to people who weren't close to me, it was boring for them. They got tired of it. But it's ever present with me." God's Word offers advice on timing for all situations in life. "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…. a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak" (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7). Lord, I praise You that sharing comes easily to me, and I praise You for the taste of healing that it brings. Give me the wisdom to hold my tongue when I should be listening instead of speaking. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 63 - Suppression Can Lead to Explosion

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Suppression Can Lead to Explosion Day 63 Are you quelling your emotions within you and consciously keeping them at bay? Think about the amount of force and energy this involves. Your emotions may be packed in so tightly that the pressure could build up to the point of possible explosion. "You can delay the grieving process by denying it or just not allowing yourself to cry or to face it," says Dr. H. Norman Wright. "It's like you put a lid on your life and on your emotions. It is a form of repression, and whenever you repress any of your feelings, you bury them alive. Someday there will be a resurrection, but you will not be in charge of it. It could come through depression. It could come out through explosiveness." In the midst of overwhelming emotional suffering and pressure, Jesus looked to God with determination. "And being in anguish he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground" (Luke 22:44). Holy God, may my resolve to release my emotional pressure and to seek You be as earnest as Jesus' prayer. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. Don't want these daily emails? Unsubscribe. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755