Day 114 - Cling to God

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Cling to God Day 114 "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" (Deuteronomy 33:27). God is a big God. His strength and power are beyond comprehension. When it seems a major effort to get out of bed and function, when you cannot think straight, when holding on to any kind of hope seems impossible, this is the time to pray and to understand that with God all things are possible. "How do I cling to God?" asks Kay Arthur, whose husband died by suicide. She answers, "I cling to God by finding out everything I can about God and then not letting go of it. I hold on, if I have to, literally by my fingernails. I know that when I hang on by my fingernails, I'm going to feel underneath me the Everlasting Arms, which are going to hold me and sustain me." When your faith is only the size of a tiny, tiny mustard seed, you can move a large mountain because you believe in the power of God. You have chosen to trust in Him, and He will be there to give you strength. "He replied, 'Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there" and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you'" (Matthew 17:20). Even a little faith, when it is in a big God, is sufficient. Almighty God, I will cling to You with every ounce of strength I have left. Please give me more faith. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 113 - When You Want to End the Pain

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here When You Want to End the Pain Day 113 One of the most destructive choices you could consider as you deal with grief and loss is the possibility of suicide. Although your motivation may be to end the pain, you will actually inflict a greater pain on those you leave behind. For those of you who have lost a loved one through suicide, you know firsthand the deep heartache and overwhelming emotions that occur as a result. Shelly's son died by suicide. She shares: "There was pain so deep that I didn't know if I was going to be able to get up sometimes. I was like, 'Lord, I don't think I can go another twenty-five years or however long I may have on this earth. I don't think I can handle this amount of pain.'" Katie, whose husband died by suicide, says, "Nobody knows what it is like until you have to go through it." These emotions are normal, but if you actually begin to form a plan to end your life—if you feel it is worthless to continue or that you cannot handle the pain any longer—you need to call your pastor or a doctor immediately. You need professional support for this kind of crisis. Your friends cannot take the place of professional counselors, but they will be a support for you. Many people love you dearly and would give anything to reach out and help you. Remember, though, that other people cannot know what you are thinking or feeling unless you open up and tell them. Reach out to other people, continue to build relationships, and do not close yourself off. Let people love you even when they don't understand you. Jesus has promised you hope and healing for the future. You will receive and be reminded of this hope through your relationships with other people as you let God's love flow through them to you. Let God minister His love to you today. "The Father himself loves you dearly" (John 16:27 NLT). Holy God, teach me how to love and be loved. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 112 - Tempted to Give Up?

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Tempted to Give Up? Day 112 You may feel you would rather escape than endure. But remember, it is always too soon to give up. God sent His angels to rescue Daniel only after he was in the lion's den (Daniel 6:19-21). Paul says God rescued him after he had the "sentence of death" within him (2 Corinthians 1:9). God rescued Peter from prison the night before he was to be executed (Acts 12:4-11). Even at the last moment, He can rescue you. Never give up. "Whatever string you can find to hold on to, whatever you know about God in your heart, hang on to it with everything you have. Then stand back and see His glory," says Janet Paschal, whose grandfather died. When it seems that there is nothing left to live for, God will prove Himself true. Focus on Him and do not let your thoughts stray for a moment. Job initially wanted God to take his life: "Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant what I hope for, that God would be willing to crush me, to let loose his hand and cut me off!" (Job 6:8-9). But if God had granted Job's request, he would never have seen God's blessing in the end. The book of Habakkuk encourages you to trust in God and persevere no matter how bad things seem: "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet will I rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights" (Habakkuk 3:17-19). Savior God, I see nothing but darkness, but in this darkness I grasp at a pinpoint of light, which is my knowledge of You. I will hold on to this, Lord, with all the strength I can muster, for You alone are my hope. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 111 - Compulsive Behaviors Hinder Healing

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Compulsive Behaviors Hinder Healing Day 111 Dr. H. Norman Wright says, "The person who has a tendency toward any kind of compulsive behavior or addiction might see this come to the forefront even more so during grief." Along with drug and alcohol abuse and excessive diet habits and activity, other compulsive behaviors associated with grief include anger and violence. You may have found that you will submit yourself to anything to escape the pain of grief. These behaviors may temporarily sedate the pain, but they will hinder and even block your healing. It is wise to take some time to think and pray about your compulsive behavior, and identify whether or not your behavior is grief-induced or if you have been struggling with this problem for much longer. If you have a compulsive behavior that is out of your control, please seek help through your church or a Christian organization. You must learn to cope with and heal from this behavior so that you can heal from your grief. "I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him" (Isaiah 57:18). Lord Jesus, I want a fresh start with You. Show me how. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 110 - Compulsive Behaviors

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Compulsive Behaviors Day 110 A compulsive behavior is an activity you feel compelled to do excessively in order to distract yourself from the pain. It is something you do to avoid grief. Many people associate compulsive behaviors with negative actions such as overeating, not eating, drinking too much alcohol, or abusing drugs. But compulsive behaviors can also include activities that are normally thought of as good—working, cleaning, serving at church, or remodeling the house. These behaviors become compulsive when a person continues to overdo an activity to avoid the pain. A compulsive behavior "always offers more than it provides," says Dr. John Trent. Therefore, you might keep increasing your activity or behavior to find that original satisfaction and comfort, which is now elusive. "Genuine healing from grief," says Dr. Trent, "comes not in an artificial climate, which all those are—activity or drugs or whatever, it comes through the reality of knowing Jesus Christ." Honor God with your behavior, and know that true satisfaction is found in Him. "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body" (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Lord Jesus, I want to know You. Dwell within me as I seek to honor You with my actions and behaviors. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 109 - Destructive Choices

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Destructive Choices Day 109 In an effort to escape the pain, you may sometimes look for short-term solutions such as alcohol, overwork, drugs, or sex. These destructive choices have two elements in common: They prolong the actual grieving process. They break down the values and priorities that a person had embraced beforehand. Dr. Robert Abarno says, "It's called displacement. When you don't face the issue and you don't want to accept the answer 'I am the problem,' you may displace it by getting into alcohol or relationships or drugs or whatever. But that is temporary. It just doesn't do the job." A quick fix lasts only a moment, but God is forever. Seek to please the Spirit, and you will move forward in healing. "The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" (Galatians 6:8-9). Heavenly Father, I need to get off this road of destruction and onto the road of life. Lead me there. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 108 - Forward, Backward

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Forward, Backward Day 108 Do not be discouraged if it feels as though you are going backward at times—sometimes forward, sometimes backward. That is the natural process of grief. If you are bringing your hurts and fears to God, if you desire to move forward toward healing, if you are learning about the grieving process and trying to apply some things you have learned, then you are making progress, even when you do not feel you are. Dora, whose daughter passed away, says, "Sometimes you will think, Last week I could cope with this, and this week I can't, and then you'll think, I'm not getting any better. I'm not making any progress. Then you'll take a big leap forward. There's no timeline." You, too, will take that big leap forward as time goes on. For now, concentrate on the small victories over the pain—fewer tears, a smile, helping another person, reading and understanding a Bible passage, replacing a negative thought with a positive thought, forgiving a wrong. "We also pray that you will be strengthened with his glorious power so that you will have all the patience and endurance you need" (Colossians 1:11 NLT). Father God, when I get discouraged because it feels like I'm going backward and not forward, help me to stop trying so hard and allow You to be my support and strength. Amen Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755