Day 150 - Anticipatory Grief Not Understood

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Anticipatory Grief Not Understood Day 150 Your spouse may have experienced a long illness before his or her death. As a result, this "anticipatory grief" enabled you to achieve a level of grieving beforehand. This doesn't mean you will be exempt from grief and pain when your loved one dies—actually, you might be amazed at how much grieving you will still need to do. Anticipatory grief doesn't make grieving easier, but it can shorten the process for some people. As a result of anticipatory grief, you may be ready to build a new relationship earlier than others think is appropriate. Dr. H. Norman Wright says: "A lot of the grieving will occur during a time of sickness and decline. You will experience it together and maybe with other friends. After that grieving, it can take less time to get through the grieving process. So, at six months or eight months, a remaining spouse may begin looking around and wanting to build a new relationship, and other people may become judgmental. "When somebody starts dating six months or so later and even marries within a year, it doesn't mean that they did not have a good relationship. There is a lot of anticipatory grief that goes on." Let God's words encourage you: "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer" (Romans 12:12). Oh Lord, when people judge and misunderstand me, it hurts so much. But I don't want to live my life to please them; I want to live my life to please You. May my words, thoughts, and decisions be pleasing to You today. In Jesus' name, Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 149 - Others May Not Approve

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Others May Not Approve Day 149 Even if the Lord brings a new mate into your life, you may encounter people who don't approve of your remarriage. "There were certain people, of course, who thought that a year was not long enough," says Jodie after the death of her husband. Can you truly say this person was sent to you from God for the purpose of remarriage? If you have that godly assurance, then make your decisions based on His plan, not on the opinions of others. Keep in mind that these people may disapprove only because they want what's best for you. Pray for them to know and understand God's will, and do not be embarrassed or ashamed about your remarriage decision. "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood" (Isaiah 54:4). Holy God, speak Your words of love through me so that others may come to know You as a result of my life and my new relationship. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 148 - Feeling Guilty?

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Feeling Guilty? Day 148 After an appropriate time of grieving the death of your spouse and after experiencing personal healing from your loss, you might consider dating. New dating relationships can cause you to feel guilty. You may feel you shouldn't be having fun and that you are being disloyal to your lost spouse. These feelings are certainly natural and will take some time getting over. "When you first start dating, you feel guilty for enjoying yourself. That was a little awkward getting past," says Marie, who lost her husband. You are not betraying or abandoning your loved one by dating again. God does not want you to feel guilty about this. You are free to date, and you are free to not date. "This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything" (1 John 3:19-20). Heavenly Jesus, You are greater than all my worries. I bow down to Your wisdom for my life. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 147 - Freedom to Remarry

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Freedom to Remarry Day 147 God may at some point bring another person into your life, and you are then free to pursue a relationship. You may have to give yourself permission to do so because of the loyalty you feel to the spouse you have lost. He or she will always be a part of your life; you are not being disloyal by moving forward again. "I did have to give myself permission to date again," says Jodie, who lost her husband, "but I really was not looking for a second husband. I guess the Lord just opened my eyes when it was time." God will provide in a way that is right for you. In the meantime, walk in the freedom that God has for you. "You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love" (Galatians 5:13). Lord God, make sense of my conflicting thoughts and emotions, and give me wisdom in the decisions I make today. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 146 - Contributing to a New Relationship

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Contributing to a New Relationship Day 146 If parts of you are still broken or needy, another person can feel attracted to the idea of helping to repair or rebuild you. That individual may feel falsely strengthened by the idea that you need him or her to grow and heal, when, in fact, it is God whom you both need. Before pursuing a new relationship, think about what you will contribute to that relationship, not what you "need" or what you can get from the relationship. The attitudes, qualities, and wisdom you bring to a new relationship should strengthen the relationship, causing both individuals to draw closer to God. "'Who is he who will devote himself to be close to me?' declares the Lord. 'So you will be my people, and I will be your God'" (Jeremiah 30:21-22). Lord Jesus, I devote my life to You. I pray that everyone who comes into contact with me will see a glimpse of You and that any new relationship I might be involved in is centered on You. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 145 - Men Often Rush Remarriage

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Men Often Rush Remarriage Day 145 Men are more likely than women to jump into a new relationship prematurely. Women often already have a network of relationships to support them in times of grieving, whereas a man's only close relationship was with his wife. Jim Grassi, internationally known outdoorsman, recommends that men take time together away from the hustle and bustle of daily life and spend time studying God's Word and sharing with one another in God's great outdoors. He says, "Jesus was a practical, real guy, and He dealt with real guys. He asked them to put down their musty nets and go out and fish for men instead of fishing for fish. He had those quiet times with the guys, and He took them to places that were different. He took them out of Capernaum and put them into other settings where He could have that time. In His own life when He went out in the wilderness for forty days, He went to a different place than He was used to so that He could listen to God." Follow Christ's example for your life and put down your own musty nets of thoughts and emotions. Call a friend or a group of friends and make plans to go camping, fishing, or hiking in God's creation. And when you get there, read God's Word together and listen and share. "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge (Psalm 19:1-2). Jesus, show me how I can get away from the busyness of my daily life and find a place to meet with You. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 144 - Remarriage: Decide Deliberately

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Remarriage: Decide Deliberately Day 144 Make the decision not to make any big decisions too quickly. Give God time to heal your heart and to minister to you. He knows what you need and when you need it. Dr. Ray Pritchard describes three decisions that a person who has lost a spouse must make: "Decision number one is 'In my pain and in my grief am I willing to trust God, and am I completely committed to doing His will even when things are tumbling in around me?' Decision number two is this: 'What are the basic responsibilities of my life and am I willing to do them?' "And number three: Make the decision that you're not going to make any big decisions very quickly. Give God time to heal your heart. Give Him time to wrap His arms around you. Give Him time for the body of Christ to minister to you. I think it is often a mistake to jump into another relationship too soon after you have lost a mate." Commit yourself to God first and to your current responsibilities next. "So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good" (1 Peter 4:19). Faithful Creator, I will take my time making these big decisions and just rest and trust in You. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755