Day 178 - Others Do Not Know What to Say

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Others Do Not Know What to Say Day 178 "We were so deep in our grief that we didn't know how to ask for help," Shelly says of her son's suicide. "We didn't know how to communicate that. There were times I wished someone would have intruded upon our grief and said, 'Do you need someone to talk to? Do you need someone to share with?'" If you have lost someone to suicide, there are times when even those closest to you don't know what to say. They may even pull back. This isn't because they don't love you. It's because they simply are at a loss for words and don't know how to respond. Explain to them or show them that what you need is a friend. "[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:7, 8 nasb). Lord, when I don't know what to say and my friends don't know what to say, let us all just rest in Your love. Teach us to love one another. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 177 - Believers Go to Heaven

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Believers Go to Heaven Day 177 If a person is a believer in Jesus Christ, nothing can separate him or her from the love of God. Not even suicide can take a believer out of His hands. "Suicide is a very difficult topic," says Dr. Erwin Lutzer, "but let me simply say something that I think needs to be said: I have known genuine Christians who have died by suicide, and I expect to see them in heaven." If you have lost a loved one to suicide, do not weary yourself with the burden of wondering if he or she is in heaven. God alone knows the hearts of people, and He is a just and merciful God. Take the time now to get your heart right with the Lord. Surrender your life to the healing Christ; and obey what is written in His Word. Know for certain that as a believer you will live in His presence forever in heaven. "For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day" (John 6:40). Savior Jesus, I give my life to You and seek to please You all of my days. You are my hope and my life. Amen. *We encourage you to find the GriefShare support group nearest you to assist in your healing journey. For further information call 1-800-395-5755, email info@griefshare.org, visit our web site at http://www.griefshare.org, or write to Church Initiative, P.O. Box 1739, Wake Forest, NC, 27588-1739. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 176 - Unanswered Questions

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Unanswered Questions Day 176 Suicide always leaves unanswered questions. "Just this week I spoke with a darling father," says Barbara Johnson. "He was about forty years old and had a seventeen-year-old son. He went to wake him up in the morning for school and found him hanging from a chandelier. There's no preparation for this. A darling Christian boy, active in his church; his father was a wonderful Christian man. So there's no explanation for this. "That is when you have to claim Deuteronomy 29:29, 'The secret things belong to the Lord.' And this is a secret thing. No one will ever know the reason why this thing happened, this side of heaven. As I counsel many parents who have lost children to suicide, that is the hardest one to deal with. They want to blame themselves. I try to tell them that their child went out to meet a just and a loving God. And God only knows the answers. You can't blame yourself for what your kids do or grab onto guilt." No, you cannot blame yourself. There is no responsibility or control when it comes to suicide. "Now I know in part; then I shall know fully" (1 Corinthians 13:12). Holy Father, I will never truly know the reason for this suicide until I get to heaven. Every time I start to point the finger of blame, gently cover my hand with Yours and restore me in Your peaceful presence. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 175 - Family Ties

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Family Ties Day 175 "God saved my family from destruction. I think that the enemy was trying to come in and destroy us. But God said, 'No,'" says Darlynn, whose grandmother died. Grief can cause intense strain on your family, regardless of how close you may have been before the loss. But God placed you within a family for you to support one another. He does not want you to quarrel. When you do, you are giving Satan the opportunity to destroy what is good. It is okay to express your differences, but personal attacks and hurtful accusations are always out of line. Your home must be a safe place where love is the context in which disagreements are worked out. "You want something but don't get it…. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God" (James 4:2). Ask God for help right away. Stop the grumbling and dissension before they have a chance to grow. Righteous God, please strengthen our failing family ties, and bond us together each day in love. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 174 - Grief Can Cause Family Conflicts

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Grief Can Cause Family Conflicts Day 174 Grief puts an awful strain on families, often leading to family conflicts. What conflicts have you and your family experienced as a result of your loss? Emotions are running high, and the last thing you want to deal with is further strife. Annie, whose father died, says, "It was so hard after he died because of the conflict within my family over settling the estate. We had so many differences of opinion. It was very heartbreaking. I never thought that my loved ones would react like they did. Now I look back, and I realize that they also were grieving. Once we were past settling the property, getting the property sold and everything divided, now gradually we're getting back together. Money can really cause problems in a family." Understand that each person in your family is grieving in his or her own way, and before you make important family decisions, pray together for God's wisdom and guidance. Do not be afraid of ridicule or rejection from your family members for recommending prayer—prayer is powerful, and you are wise to suggest it. "It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel" (Proverbs 20:3). Savior God, I pray that everyone in my family can come to an agreement about what is best to do. Give each of us a peace and a feeling of confirmation that our decision is the right one. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 173 - Your Words

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Your Words Day 173 "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45). Sometimes as a result of grief, you may find yourself directing words of blame, anger, scorn, or irritation at your spouse without giving much consideration to those words. Perhaps it is time to think about some of the things you've said and consider why you said them. Your words are likely revealing emotions you are holding inside you, and these emotions need to be addressed. "God allows pressures in your life to reveal to you what's inside you," says Iris. "The Bible says what's in your heart comes out of your mouth. For years I was trying to tell my husband what I thought God was trying to show him, but I'm seeing more and more that God's trying to reveal to me what's in me. As He shows me what's in me that is wrong, I can confess it to Him. And the Bible says if you confess it, He takes it away as far as the east is from the west." After a time of self-examination, if you come to realize that you have said or done something wrong—yes, confess it to God, but also take the time to confess and apologize to the person you have wronged. You can also share with the other person what you have learned about yourself and ask for prayer to handle things better the next time. Father, forgive me for saying unkind words to my spouse. Help me to be better aware of any emotions I'm holding inside so that I can work through them. Amen. Through a Season of Grief The daily email messages you are receiving are also available in a book format. Purchase as a gift for a friend or buy a print copy for yourself. Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard is available at online and local bookstores or at griefshare.org/devotional. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755

Day 172 - Growing Closer to Your Spouse

365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here Growing Closer to Your Spouse Day 172 Sometimes when a couple loses a child, they react to their confusing emotions by targeting each other. As a result, they begin to grow apart Quinton and Teresa experienced the death of their daughter. They offer a few suggestions to help you and your spouse grow closer during this time. Come together each day and apologize for anything you may have said or done to hurt the other person in the past twenty-four hours. If you do not apologize right away for the small things, they can become magnified in the other person's eyes and the gap between you will grow. Be the first person to give in if there is a disagreement. You do not have to agree with the other person's view, but acknowledge the parts you do agree with and apologize for any harsh or judgmental words that you said. Pray together daily, whether you feel like it or not. Say something encouraging to your spouse each day. Reflect on the good times together. Be sensitive to the other person's feelings and needs, which may be different from your own. Do not isolate yourself from your spouse. Attend a Bible study together. Ephesians 5 offers this advice for husbands and wives: "Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ…. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting" (21-22, 25 msg). Dear Lord, sometimes I feel that the gap between my spouse and me is growing larger each day. Please help us to come together again. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755