Day 86 - If Only I Had . . .
365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process Grief support groups: Click here to find a GriefShare group near you. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page. Want to read ahead or resend a previous daily email? Click Here If Only I Had … Day 86 “In God’s economy you can’t go back and say, ‘I should have done this,’ ‘I should have done that,’ or ‘I didn’t do this right,’” says Barbara Johnson, “because you did the best you could at the time that you did it. God knows your heart, and you can’t live in a state of regret or wishing you had done something different. There has to be closure to that.” Many times you may beat yourself up thinking about the things you did wrong in regard to your loved one, or you are plagued with thoughts about what you could have done differently. John’s son committed suicide. He says, “Afterwards, I remembered every time that I had mistreated him or punished him unjustly. I recalled every time I had yelled at him out of frustration and anger—everything I had done wrong as a parent to him. It’s like I was on the witness stand and there was a prosecutor who said, ‘You did this and you did that.’” John realized that his thoughts of blame, regret, and self-condemnation were harmful and they needed to stop. He knew that good, uplifting, and strengthening thoughts are from God and he needed to focus on them. He says, “God in his grace also reminded me of when I would come home and eat lunch with my son and we would have little talks. The little things we did were good. We did have some really good times.” Remember the good times, and counter your “if onlys” with Scripture. God’s Word is powerful and will help you conquer the negative thoughts that play in your head. Choose a Bible verse to repeat throughout the day, replacing harmful thoughts with God’s healing words. “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22-24). Lord God, teach me to put off my old habits of self-condemnation and bitter regret and replace them with a new attitude of prayer and Christlikeness. Amen. Grieving with Hope This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they're grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope. If you would like to recommend these daily emails to a friend, please click here and choose one of the options under Share. For more information about GriefShare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please click here. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2003-2013 by The Church Initiative, Inc., All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without explicit permission in writing from Church Initiative. You subscribed to this daily email through www.griefshare.org. We value your privacy! We will never give, sell, rent, or otherwise share your email or personal information with any other organization — EVER. To remove this email address from further mailings Click Here while connected to the internet. If you have any problems or concerns, please contact dailyemailsupport@griefshare.org. GriefShare 250 S. Allen Rd. Wake Forest, NC 27587 (800) 395-5755 |
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